Respectful Blogging

I don't mean to be rude, but if I do not accept an invitation it is probably because I have no idea who you are. In blog terms this means that I have never had an exchange of opinions on here, we have no friends in common, you have never commented on my blog nor I on yours.

Sending me 3 invitations is not going to make me feel any differently on here.

Also if you have read my blog you will know that I am not susceptible to flattery, I do not want to be part of an inner sanctum and I don't like being told what to do or organised.

Sorry but that is that.

X

v
I come to BCUK to meet with people of like mind and even different mines. But who are accepting of others difference. People who do think outside of the box and are above the usual clicks. I mean I deal with bullshit clicks at work and have to be the one looking in from the outside out. But prefer that than be a sheep and follow. But these same types of people have infiltered this site and have been slowly running people off. I hope it stops soon or the only ones left will be the clicks and they will go off to see what else they can ruin. If the person that hurt my friend is reading this. Why dont you go after someone who can stand toe to toe with you. Oh I am sorry that takes guts and that is something you dont have. What a shame that there always people out there that are cowards. I hope this blog doesnt self destruct because of these people it would be a shame it is a place that I have enjoyed and hope to continue.
I had a email today that informed me that a blog friend has taken thier blog off buck because of a stalker. I am so sad that this has happened. I wish this person would find another way to handle it. Anyway my friend I hope you dont let them when. Just remember People that are on the outside looking in are actually the more caring than the ones staying in the box and keeping others out.

I respect a group owner's decision to delete a post or a comment as that is their prerogative.

After all it is their group.

I have the choice to join the group or leave if I do not like their rules. As Mr always says, 'If you want to belong to a club, you need to follow their rules.'

What I find disrespectful to potential members or members of a group is when the terms of reference for that group are not clearly stated.

For example, if you state that the group is opening and welcoming to any one's thoughts and opinions but then delete comments or a post that you may not agree with, then you are not truthfully representing the group or its terms of references.

What should be stated outright is this...

'You are welcome to post a comment or post but if I disagree with what you are talking about, I may change the comment to suit my preferences and opinions and pretend it is your thoughts. And I may delete a post all together and ask you to write another one and I will even tell you how to write it to ensure I get my message across through your post and seemingly your words.'

In my opinion, of course...

I tend to be a straight shooter and what you see is what you get. I do not like or appreciate when someone is not upfront with their intentions.

But then I am funny like that.

I prefer integrity.

This post is not aimed or directed at anyone in particular but if you feel this applies to you, then by all means think about what I have said.

Or not.

My account is open in the morning even when I have logged out on the previous day?

A tag is added to a post even when I have specifically chosen that tags and comments are closed?

Emails appear in a sent box even when I haven't written to that person?

Members are shown as leaving my groups when they haven't requested to?

Are serious breaches of privacy or sabotage occurring on this blog site?

Or is it just a series of technical glitches affecting me?

When are members of the technical support team allowed to enter one's account?

How can we have respectful blogging if trust is affected?

If you participate in a group or read a post that is offensive to you, you have the power to walk away by turning the page.

Some bloggers enjoy creating chaos and the more attention you give them, the more they enjoy it.

Recognize that you engaging in a cyber war with the blogger that has offended you, will only cause you to cope with the residual effects of a cyber war - rapid heart rate, angst, frustration and a whole lot of other negative emotions that you must now cope with.

I can guarantee that the one who is pushing your buttons doesn't have to cope with this and more than likely enjoys this negative whirlwind and plays the victim to the max.

The point is...you have the power to engage in this behavior or not.

Recognize what your limitations are (whether it is emotionally worth it for you 'discuss' the issue at hand in order to 'change' a blogger's opinion) and weigh your options before you set out to respond.

Easy words for me I know and in practice, it is difficult to do.

Moving forward and all of that...

There seems to be a lot of what I call piggy back blogging going on. That is what I call a blog written on the back of another one; you know, when you read someone else's blog and get inspired to take the subject or content and write a further blog on it in your own site.

For example, I read a blog by janeagain which used a word which inspired me to write a post in my gratitude blog.

I acknowledged janeagain for the inspiration in my blog and included a link that would take any visitors to her site.

That to me seemed like a respectful thing to do as it credited her with the original inspiration which I could one step further.

In the academic world in which I work it is usual to acknowledge sources and would be called plagiarism or "cheating" if we didn't.

So what do others think? Should people own up that they took their inspiration from another blogger and cite that blogger in their post?

Is that a mark of respectful bloggers?

I await your comments with interest, thank you.

Somebody left me a nice user tag xx

As a comparatively new blogger I haven't seen much action but feel that I am a hardened veteran in the spats that I have witnessed,moderated or tried to avoid.

Is there a pattern to this?

Does one upset spark off another?

Bemused and slightly dazed

And the blog banter has ceased....what do you do with the residue left over from that exchange?

I tend to hang onto it for awhile. I replay it in my mind and torment myself with all possible scenarios and think of any possible way I could have changed what happened.

I find it difficult to shut off my mind once the computer is silent.

Need to work on that and focus on redirecting my energy into something productive.

My friend Mira suggested The Work of Bryon Katie but I was looking for a quick fix myself.

Not that Bryon Katie doesn't have merit as it appears she does but you know what I mean.

My friend Free chooses to ignore the banter as she refuses to allow anyone to have that power over her.

That might be my answer.

Ignore the banter and walk away.

Push those residue feelings down to nothing or utter a primal scream to let it all out. Either which way, let it go.

*hugs*

It is difficult to turn the page or ignore a post/comment that somehow offends us but that is what should be done because at the end of the blogging day, we turn our computers off and get back to real life, so why do we let it bother us so?

I also know that ignoring offensive words is difficult to do and once quickly baited, it can spiral downwards fast and furious.

As part of the new me, the new way I am going to respond to something offensive is to delete it if I can. If I can not, then I will click my mouse and turn the page away from what bothers me.

At the end of it all, I am the one left to cope with all that angst and frankly, I would rather boot that angst to the curb as it makes me feel awful.

How do you handle a blog, a post or a comment that offends you? Do you have any recommendations to pass onto to us respectful bloggers?

*hugs*